I’m a writer. I’m good. Let me show you.
Intro
Hello! If you’ve found your way to my website, there’s a good chance I’ve sent you my résumé and you’re now considering me for a professional opportunity. How great for us!
You want to know more about my work, but in a way that’s not just me regurgitating my résumé back at you. That’s understandable. You’re a busy person, yet thoughtful enough to read this far into the boilerplate introduction on some guy’s website.
So, let’s get to the good stuff.
Keep on scrolling and see what I have to offer your company and/or doomsday cult*.
Work Samples
Brand Copy
Banner ad for Comedy Central series South Side
Push alert for Smithsonian Channel documentary series Fever Pitch
Episode promo for The Daily Show with Trevor Noah
Season despription for VH1 reality series Black Ink Crew New York
Showpage for Comedy Central series Reno 911!
Video playlist for MTV PUSH artist Billie Eillish
Cross-branded Onion headlines for TGIFridays and H&R Block
Comedy
U.S. Mint Introduces New Double-Stuf Quarters (The Onion)
Opinion: “We’re Going To Enjoy This Cocaine-Fueled Mason Jar Rocket Ride For As Long As It Lasts” (The Onion)
Ira Glass Exhausted From Doing Every Single Voice On ‘This American Life’ (The Onion)
HR Sends Out Reminder Email About Not Scrawling ‘Revenge’ In Blood In Conference Room (The Onion)
Pigeon That Flew Down Into Subway Going To Need All His Wits To Get Out Of This One (The Onion)
Journalism
Battling Depression Through Video Games (The Daily Dot)
Marc Maron: Lawsuit Over Podcast Patent Is “Extortion” (The Daily Dot)
Apollo 13 Expert Livetweets Entire Mission on its 45th Anniversary (The Daily Dot)
Accidental Historian (The Kerrville Daily Times)
Video
I’ve written and produced content for a variety of publications and brands during my 14 years in media. I started in newspaper journalism, moved into comedy when I began writing for The Onion and have spent the last six years as a brand copywriter for Paramount’s streaming platforms.
About Me
Off the clock, I love spending time with my wife and our 2-year-old son. I especially enjoy taking him on morning runs in his jogging stroller. I’m an insatiable reader of history and fiction. Some of my favorite authors include Graham Greene, Robert Caro and Larry McMurtry. I’m also an avid bar trivia player—whose knowlege of the 1960s Space Race is so airtight it helped my team pull off a come-from-behind 3rd Place finish in a New York City-wide trivia tournament.
All right. You’ve seen the work and learned a little bit more about me. You know I’m great with words and have a unique, humorous voice. Even when I’m pitching to major media brands, I’m not afraid to try exciting, new ideas—while keeping a company’s voice and needs in mind.
I’ve spent a long time developing these skills in marketing, news and entertainment. I’d like to see myself and my skills grow with a brand whose voice, mission, and purpose I’m passionate about.
In Conclusion
*Not currently accepting offers from doomsday cults.